you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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