Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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