yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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