my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize