is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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