i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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