I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can Purell be used as lube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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