I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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