i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize