Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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