He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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