So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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