There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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