yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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