I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize