I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He felt like a one man threesome
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
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I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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