why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize