the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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