no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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