omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize