Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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