I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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