tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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