the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize