WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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