so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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