What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize