The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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