...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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