My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize