The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think a kid would responsible me up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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