I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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