Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

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  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2190) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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  (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery http://tfl.nu/move
  Replies (17) Good night (4355) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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  (321): I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment. http://tfl.nu/8o3c
  Replies (18) Good night (3102) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.

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  (732): some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america. http://tfl.nu/u0og
  Replies (33) Good night (621) Bad night (4842) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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  (757): everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date. http://tfl.nu/pynx
  Replies (36) Good night (840) Bad night (4118) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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  (813): So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks http://tfl.nu/x484
  Replies (13) Good night (5768) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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  (818): She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on. http://tfl.nu/3dyc
  Replies (31) Good night (773) Bad night (9512) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

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  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1586) Bad night (4710)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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  (+44): You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/2spc
  Replies (12) Good night (4046) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things

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  (519): My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things http://tfl.nu/16j6
  Replies (11) Good night (1044) Bad night (2498) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess what happened to me today at work?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have chlamydia. What happened.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

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  (734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53
  Replies (11) Good night (2485) Bad night (1116)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.

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  (908): My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes. http://tfl.nu/8gcz
  Replies (11) Good night (1699) Bad night (531)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1684) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.

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  (515): She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/t1ua
  Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.

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  (608): We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games. http://tfl.nu/omws
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt

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