I love black thongs
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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