Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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