using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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