At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize