If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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