If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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