yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
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You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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