Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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