What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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