We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it's like iHOP with fire
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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