Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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