i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found the puke drawer
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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