that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize