I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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