I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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