got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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