Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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